Touching the heart of our pain

In order to touch the heart of our pain we must first take time to sit with it and understand its purpose. We have to remember that we are not made victim by our pain, but that as powerful creators we have manifested this pain to bring forward learning that can complete  Karmic cycles.

“Do not be in a rush to ‘heal’ (which is the same as ‘hide’) your pain. It will just return in different disguises (dis-eases) until you truly accept ownership of it and understand why you have manifested it at this moment in your life/lives.” Gabriel.

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I am beginning to understand the process and power of this teaching in my own life. Part of this process has been allowing myself to truly feel the overwhelm of life in my current moment of living with my son and his wife (lots of tears and snot and more tears and tissues and a good dose of anger, resentment and pouting). In the midst of this emotional outpouring I asked the Big question “What am I trying to learn?”.  And this time I was ready for  the Real answer. The answer that allowed me to move from ‘victim of circumstance’ to insightful, powerful creator.

The answer was “to learn the boundaries of my responsibility and to receive love and support with Grace”.

And so I have begun to give myself permission to put down responsibilities (sense of overwhelm) that, as it turns out, I didn’t need to be carrying anyway. I am also opening myself to the beautiful humility of receiving. This is still an ongoing process but now my self-talk is focussed on the heart of the lesson and everyday I let more small things go. e.g. I am not responsible for my daughter-in-law’s new puppy; I am not responsible for keeping the peace between family members, and I am allowing my family to ‘do’ for me without feeling the pressure of guilt.

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All of these seemingly trivial steps, that are no doubt glaringly obvious to others, sit within a much larger and longer story of my pain. Pain that I have manifested for more than 20 years  in the guise of Major Clinical Depression/anxiety disorder. I am both a powerful creator and a slow learner.

There is a sense of power and lightness of burden as I accept that I have intelligently manifested this learning context of Depression. As I continue on this journey my questions and self-talk are changing from: “I can’t bare this pain”; “What strategy can I use to get me through the grocery shopping”, to: “Why am I baring this pain?”, “Why do I have this pain?”. My answer at this moment is “Because the pain, the sickness, the Depression, gives me permission to let go of my overly, unnecessarily large, burden of responsibility”.  And so with this insight I begin the small steps of laying down bundles of responsibility that were never mine to begin with.

Kathy Baker

Images: Kathy Baker

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Follow your Bliss

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Lately in my work as a spiritual medium and healer I have seen more and more clients, friends and even my beautiful husband, finally walk away from jobs and lifestyles that have been making them sick for a long time. It is as though we, as a community, are making a shift from living in our heads, bullied by fear of dire consequences for not maintaining the satis-quo,  to choosing to live from the heart.

Making the choice to listen to our heart creates a space for us that is free from the tyranny of logic, ‘risk management’ and fear. Within this space we are really able to consider our needs as spiritual beings and journeyers and to reassess our priorities. Earning large amounts of money and being able to maintain a particular social image  begins to feel very unsatisfying if that also means compromising significant relationships and our own health and growth.

Choosing to create a life that is simpler and has space for meaningful connections with ourselves, others and our Earth is empowering and enriching. For my own personal journey, listening to my heart and choosing to stand in my Truth and engage in work that feeds my Soul has been a wonderful experience. An experience that has shown me inner-strength I had not recognised and created sustained bliss such I have not felt before.

Kathy Baker

Image: Symphony of Love

 

Your Inner-Child is your best muse

It is important to understand that your Inner-Child is not wounded by the events and experiences of your childhood. When you enter each life you are very closely connected and aligned with your Inner-Child. This is where your sense of wonder, adventure, fearless inspiration and great capacity for love is held safe.  Always you have your Inner-Child waiting patiently for your return.

The life-events of your childhood are so important and sacred because they provide the basis for the key learning that you have chosen to experience in this life. It is because they are so important that they must occur when you are at your most vulnerable so they can resonate long enough for you come back to them as adults and clearly see the purpose and the learning held within these experiences. Your Inner-Child can bring great love, energy and creativity to this learning.

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The Inner-Child – an aspect of the Self

In an earlier post I write about the strong connection and close association between  the Inner-Child and the Higher Self. I want to expand on this point. The Inner-Child is completely and fearlessly open to Spirit. When we enter each life we too are open to Spirit and able to perceive and interact effortlessly with this realm. For most of us this open connection fades as we get down to the business of experiencing our learning in each life. The Inner-child though continues to be blissfully and innocently embraced by those in spirit, allowing the channel between the Inner-Child and the Higher-Self to remain open. Understanding our Inner-Child and reconnecting with him/her, then, is a powerful portal to our Higher-self.

The Higher-Self is an aspect of the Self that remains aware of our entire journey, across all lives, to full development as an enlightened Being.  Establishing a conscious link to the Higher-Self supports us in being able to become our own observer, helping us to lift our heads above the drama of life to catch a glimpse of the ‘big picture’ in terms of our current life.  These moments of clarity allow us to understand why we are engaged in the challenges that we are and to more readily access the learning that we want to achieve. This understanding enables us to move more quickly through these learning experiences and so clear the way for more growth.

Kathy Baker

Artist unknown

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Who is your Inner-Child?

Your Inner-Child is an aspect of yourself that is powerful, creative and most closely aligned to your Higher-self. Your Inner-Child is not a powerless victim who has been wounded and is in need of  rescuing. Rather, the pain and wounding that is traditionally seen as belonging to your Inner-Child is instead held within the themes and goals that you have selected to be the focus of your life-work. Your Inner-Child is simply the barer of these sacred life-lessons that have their origin in past-life experiences. I am shown the Inner-Child as a child holding an armful of ancient scrolls, each scroll carrying a past-life experience, sometimes traumatic, sometimes full of grief, and sometimes it is a deep fear that has no logical place in your current life. Each scroll needs to be opened and love and forgiveness brought to the experience and fear, so that balance can be achieved and the strong emotions released.

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Since not everyone has access to past-life retrieval, the life contexts that we plan for ourselves are selected because of the emotional triggers they hold that will bring in the echoes of these past-life traumas and patterns. When we find ourselves in the throes of a major challenge it is helpful to check-in with our Inner-Child to see if the current challenge relates to one of our chosen themes carried by this child.  The creativity and power of our Inner-Child is then available for us to help design a way of working with this particular life-lesson. Because our Inner-Child is so resilient we are able to try a number of strategies until we find a way of resolving the challenge.

Resolving a challenge can sometimes be as simple and profound as changing our perspective. When we view our life, or a particular situation in our life, through a different framework, or belief system, the reality that we had invested all our pain and angst in suddenly disappears. The characters within this particular drama are seen as just that, people playing certain roles for us and we no longer need them to be in that role. This may mean that as we change our perspective the people around us change their roles to suit and we are able to transform relationships so they become nurturing rather than abusive. Other times it may be necessary to let go of these relationships because we no longer need them to remind us what we are meant to be learning.

The more scrolls we are able to take from our Inner-Child the more clearly we can see him/her as the truly joyous and creative being that he/she is.

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The role of the Inner-Child

_DSF2362Our Inner-Child is a way-shower for many aspects of our adult life. When we are birthed for each life we have already determined the main themes we want to experience and the main goals we want to achieve. We have selected our parents and our parents have agreed to play the roles we have asked for. Other members of our soul group have likewise agreed to play certain roles. Roles that will provide the backdrop and context for the curriculum we have set ourselves. The shaping of the Inner-Child within these contexts creates deep emotional and psychological encodings that once understood spell out the wounds from past-lives that need to be brought to the surface; the challenges we want to be able to overcome; the forgiveness we want to be able to offer; the love we want to experience.  Unlocking the map our Inner-Child has steadfastly carried for us allows us to plot our way forward in a conscious and self-loving way that honours and cherishes our Inner-Child and gives us an adult’s view of both the path travelled and the path ahead.

I have worked with many clients over the years who as adults are still struggling with the theme of challenges that they faced as children. It might be the woman who perpetually chooses relationships with men who will create the same pattern of pain left by her father. It may be the man who experienced an impoverished childhood who as an adult never feels he has ‘enough’ no matter the wealth he accumulates. It might be the woman who is not able to trust in her ability to make decisions or protect her family who as a child was unable to protect her siblings from family violence.

It is our work between lives that establishes these themes. One of the first things we do once we have passed is to review our most recent life and identify our achievements and the areas we would like to work on again. Our Spirit Guides who have worked with us for many lives help us to select which theme/s, or if you like subjects we want to enrol in again. Some of us are perfectionists and high achievers and will attempt to work on more than one main theme or will provide ourselves with learning contexts that are harsh and demand much from us. Others of us are happy to take our growth more gently and will plan for less arduous life experiences.  However we choose to experience learning, our lessons begin at birth with the family and context we are born into, hence our Inner-Child becomes the key-stone to remembering our path.

Being able to establish an adult conscious connection with our life-goals and purposes allows us to bring love and understanding to our lives. To see the purpose of the joy and the pain and to more easily step into the role of observer of ourselves. I have found time again that accessing past-lives helps to identify these goals carried by the Inner -Child. Often the only way for clients to understand their child-based pain is for relevant past-life experiences to be revealed.  For example, a client may be shown a number of lives where decisions made by him/her have resulted in the death of people they love and feel responsible for. Past-life experiences such as these tend to echo through to the present life as an overly developed sense of responsibility for others and/or fear of loosing loved ones. To make sure that the desire to bring balance to these past traumas is remembered the child in the present life may find themselves in a family where he/she must carry responsibility for the care and wellbeing of siblings and possibly a parent. This may then begin a life-pattern of taking on the burdens of others and feeling a deep need to micro-manage his/her life and the lives of those he/she feels the responsibility for.

This life-pattern with it’s underlying sense of fear will continue until a conscious connection can be made with the source and purpose of this way of being. Such deep understand provides the opportunity to bring love and forgiveness to the self. This allows inner growth and learning and the release of old pain, making way for other learning experiences to enter.  If  we are unable to access this learning in our current life, we simply choose to experience the same theme again in a future life until we have achieved the growth and understanding that we desire.

Photo and words -KathyBaker