Touching the heart of our pain

In order to touch the heart of our pain we must first take time to sit with it and understand its purpose. We have to remember that we are not made victim by our pain, but that as powerful creators we have manifested this pain to bring forward learning that can complete  Karmic cycles.

“Do not be in a rush to ‘heal’ (which is the same as ‘hide’) your pain. It will just return in different disguises (dis-eases) until you truly accept ownership of it and understand why you have manifested it at this moment in your life/lives.” Gabriel.

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I am beginning to understand the process and power of this teaching in my own life. Part of this process has been allowing myself to truly feel the overwhelm of life in my current moment of living with my son and his wife (lots of tears and snot and more tears and tissues and a good dose of anger, resentment and pouting). In the midst of this emotional outpouring I asked the Big question “What am I trying to learn?”.  And this time I was ready for  the Real answer. The answer that allowed me to move from ‘victim of circumstance’ to insightful, powerful creator.

The answer was “to learn the boundaries of my responsibility and to receive love and support with Grace”.

And so I have begun to give myself permission to put down responsibilities (sense of overwhelm) that, as it turns out, I didn’t need to be carrying anyway. I am also opening myself to the beautiful humility of receiving. This is still an ongoing process but now my self-talk is focussed on the heart of the lesson and everyday I let more small things go. e.g. I am not responsible for my daughter-in-law’s new puppy; I am not responsible for keeping the peace between family members, and I am allowing my family to ‘do’ for me without feeling the pressure of guilt.

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All of these seemingly trivial steps, that are no doubt glaringly obvious to others, sit within a much larger and longer story of my pain. Pain that I have manifested for more than 20 years  in the guise of Major Clinical Depression/anxiety disorder. I am both a powerful creator and a slow learner.

There is a sense of power and lightness of burden as I accept that I have intelligently manifested this learning context of Depression. As I continue on this journey my questions and self-talk are changing from: “I can’t bare this pain”; “What strategy can I use to get me through the grocery shopping”, to: “Why am I baring this pain?”, “Why do I have this pain?”. My answer at this moment is “Because the pain, the sickness, the Depression, gives me permission to let go of my overly, unnecessarily large, burden of responsibility”.  And so with this insight I begin the small steps of laying down bundles of responsibility that were never mine to begin with.

Kathy Baker

Images: Kathy Baker

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Sacred-life purpose

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From a new specialist Spirit Guide, Gabriel, who has entered my circle of Spirit Guides.

“Trust that your sacred-life purpose is unfolding always to it’s highest level. There are no ‘failed’ attempts because there is no ‘failure’. ‘Failure’ is a concept created for and by the human experience. The big lesson is to realise this.”

 

Image Kathy Baker. Words Gabriel via Kathy

 

The role of the Inner-Child

_DSF2362Our Inner-Child is a way-shower for many aspects of our adult life. When we are birthed for each life we have already determined the main themes we want to experience and the main goals we want to achieve. We have selected our parents and our parents have agreed to play the roles we have asked for. Other members of our soul group have likewise agreed to play certain roles. Roles that will provide the backdrop and context for the curriculum we have set ourselves. The shaping of the Inner-Child within these contexts creates deep emotional and psychological encodings that once understood spell out the wounds from past-lives that need to be brought to the surface; the challenges we want to be able to overcome; the forgiveness we want to be able to offer; the love we want to experience.  Unlocking the map our Inner-Child has steadfastly carried for us allows us to plot our way forward in a conscious and self-loving way that honours and cherishes our Inner-Child and gives us an adult’s view of both the path travelled and the path ahead.

I have worked with many clients over the years who as adults are still struggling with the theme of challenges that they faced as children. It might be the woman who perpetually chooses relationships with men who will create the same pattern of pain left by her father. It may be the man who experienced an impoverished childhood who as an adult never feels he has ‘enough’ no matter the wealth he accumulates. It might be the woman who is not able to trust in her ability to make decisions or protect her family who as a child was unable to protect her siblings from family violence.

It is our work between lives that establishes these themes. One of the first things we do once we have passed is to review our most recent life and identify our achievements and the areas we would like to work on again. Our Spirit Guides who have worked with us for many lives help us to select which theme/s, or if you like subjects we want to enrol in again. Some of us are perfectionists and high achievers and will attempt to work on more than one main theme or will provide ourselves with learning contexts that are harsh and demand much from us. Others of us are happy to take our growth more gently and will plan for less arduous life experiences.  However we choose to experience learning, our lessons begin at birth with the family and context we are born into, hence our Inner-Child becomes the key-stone to remembering our path.

Being able to establish an adult conscious connection with our life-goals and purposes allows us to bring love and understanding to our lives. To see the purpose of the joy and the pain and to more easily step into the role of observer of ourselves. I have found time again that accessing past-lives helps to identify these goals carried by the Inner -Child. Often the only way for clients to understand their child-based pain is for relevant past-life experiences to be revealed.  For example, a client may be shown a number of lives where decisions made by him/her have resulted in the death of people they love and feel responsible for. Past-life experiences such as these tend to echo through to the present life as an overly developed sense of responsibility for others and/or fear of loosing loved ones. To make sure that the desire to bring balance to these past traumas is remembered the child in the present life may find themselves in a family where he/she must carry responsibility for the care and wellbeing of siblings and possibly a parent. This may then begin a life-pattern of taking on the burdens of others and feeling a deep need to micro-manage his/her life and the lives of those he/she feels the responsibility for.

This life-pattern with it’s underlying sense of fear will continue until a conscious connection can be made with the source and purpose of this way of being. Such deep understand provides the opportunity to bring love and forgiveness to the self. This allows inner growth and learning and the release of old pain, making way for other learning experiences to enter.  If  we are unable to access this learning in our current life, we simply choose to experience the same theme again in a future life until we have achieved the growth and understanding that we desire.

Photo and words -KathyBaker