Working with the Mother Wound – Part 1

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Bringing the perspective of Loving Consciousness to the Mother Wound allows us to take back our power and change out of the costume of The Victim.  We understand now that we chose our Mothers and the roles they would play with us. We understand that there is great learning for us in all of the experiences given to us throughout this role. There has also been learning opportunities for our Mothers, but it is not our responsibility to to make sure that this learning takes place.

Understanding that our responsibility lies only with our own journey and learning, we are free to choose our next role. The next role we choose to play depends entirely on us, it our journey after all. Sometimes a change in role on our part will be enough to prompt a complimentary role change for our Mothers and so allow the relationship to also change and grow. Sometimes though, the role of The Wounding Mother must be retained, not for our learning, but for our Mothers’ and perhaps for other family members, and this is okay. We have only to walk our journey and be responsible for ourselves.

Kathy Baker

Image credit:Passionpng

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Bringing Loving Consciousness to the Mother Wound

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The Mother Wound cuts deep and long, as it is meant too. It is just one of the childhood experiences written on our hearts, but written deep and long so that we remember to go back to it again and again, until every drop of love and learning has been wrung from it’s depths. 

Our mothers have toiled for years and life-times to bring these gifts of wounding to us. They have experienced pain and injury untold so that they could play so exquisitely the role of the Wounding Mother. To make sure that they cut us in places that would bring the most growth they sat with us before their conception and listened to our dreams and aspirations, then wrote these on their hearts, deep and long, so they could prepare to bring us the very best mother/child experiences.

Kathy Baker

Image credit: Polkadotcom

Loving Consciousness

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Bringing the perspective of Loving Consciousness to an event or a challenge allows us to understand ourselves and others with greater clarity and love.   Loving Consciousness reminds us to suspend all judgment of who is right or wrong, to resist the labeling of actions and emotions as positive or negative. To, for a moment, remove the identification of perpetrator and victim.  When this is achieved we simply observe people. humans, engaged in playing roles that may have begun from the time they entered this life. They may be trying on new roles and adjusting to the costume. Some may have been caught naked trying to scramble into a costume that, as yet, doesn’t fit. Regardless of the position on the journey they are all Beings doing their best to play a role that each has co-created with the rest of the acting troupe. Roles that were co-created with divine Love to bring about learning for each member.

With this understanding we can bring Gratitude, Forgiveness and Love to all involved, including ourselves.  We are also able to step out of the grip of Fear that floods our brain with energy so wild and intense that it prevents clarity and locks us into a pattern of defensiveness and self-protection. Whilst it is essential for us to fully experience such emotions, it is also important that, from time to time, we are reminded to take a step back and view our life through the lens of Loving Consciousness, to check that we are learning everything there is to learn and to pause and thank the lesson bringers.

Kathy Baker

Image credit: Ivory Coast


Touching the heart of our pain

In order to touch the heart of our pain we must first take time to sit with it and understand its purpose. We have to remember that we are not made victim by our pain, but that as powerful creators we have manifested this pain to bring forward learning that can complete  Karmic cycles.

“Do not be in a rush to ‘heal’ (which is the same as ‘hide’) your pain. It will just return in different disguises (dis-eases) until you truly accept ownership of it and understand why you have manifested it at this moment in your life/lives.” Gabriel.

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I am beginning to understand the process and power of this teaching in my own life. Part of this process has been allowing myself to truly feel the overwhelm of life in my current moment of living with my son and his wife (lots of tears and snot and more tears and tissues and a good dose of anger, resentment and pouting). In the midst of this emotional outpouring I asked the Big question “What am I trying to learn?”.  And this time I was ready for  the Real answer. The answer that allowed me to move from ‘victim of circumstance’ to insightful, powerful creator.

The answer was “to learn the boundaries of my responsibility and to receive love and support with Grace”.

And so I have begun to give myself permission to put down responsibilities (sense of overwhelm) that, as it turns out, I didn’t need to be carrying anyway. I am also opening myself to the beautiful humility of receiving. This is still an ongoing process but now my self-talk is focussed on the heart of the lesson and everyday I let more small things go. e.g. I am not responsible for my daughter-in-law’s new puppy; I am not responsible for keeping the peace between family members, and I am allowing my family to ‘do’ for me without feeling the pressure of guilt.

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All of these seemingly trivial steps, that are no doubt glaringly obvious to others, sit within a much larger and longer story of my pain. Pain that I have manifested for more than 20 years  in the guise of Major Clinical Depression/anxiety disorder. I am both a powerful creator and a slow learner.

There is a sense of power and lightness of burden as I accept that I have intelligently manifested this learning context of Depression. As I continue on this journey my questions and self-talk are changing from: “I can’t bare this pain”; “What strategy can I use to get me through the grocery shopping”, to: “Why am I baring this pain?”, “Why do I have this pain?”. My answer at this moment is “Because the pain, the sickness, the Depression, gives me permission to let go of my overly, unnecessarily large, burden of responsibility”.  And so with this insight I begin the small steps of laying down bundles of responsibility that were never mine to begin with.

Kathy Baker

Images: Kathy Baker

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Your Inner-Child is your best muse

It is important to understand that your Inner-Child is not wounded by the events and experiences of your childhood. When you enter each life you are very closely connected and aligned with your Inner-Child. This is where your sense of wonder, adventure, fearless inspiration and great capacity for love is held safe.  Always you have your Inner-Child waiting patiently for your return.

The life-events of your childhood are so important and sacred because they provide the basis for the key learning that you have chosen to experience in this life. It is because they are so important that they must occur when you are at your most vulnerable so they can resonate long enough for you come back to them as adults and clearly see the purpose and the learning held within these experiences. Your Inner-Child can bring great love, energy and creativity to this learning.

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The power of mother-love

Earlier this year I read for a woman who had lost her child to cancer. She was wracked with ‘mother guilt’ as her son referred to it when he came through. Partly  this guilt related to her sense of failure as a mother for not somehow saving her son from this disease and partly to her inability at times to save her son from the tortures of fruitless medical intervention.  But the most painful sense of guilt lay in her interpretation of her behaviour not long before her son passed. At this point her son was unable to respond in anyway and was unable to eat or drink. In a state of denial, as she later believed herself to be, this distraught and loving mother insisted on trying to feed her child.

As she finished sharing this during the reading her son responded by saying that far from an act of denial it was a profound act of love that was necessary for both of them and spoke to the primal need that exists between mother and child – to nurture and be nurtured. Her son said that for him this seemingly simple act reminded him of two very important things. Firstly it symbolised the depth of his mother’s love for him. Secondly, and perhaps most importantly,  it reminded him that in fact He was not going to die, only his body. As such He still needed nurturing and would always respond to his mother’s love. He went on to say that his mother’s attempts to feed his body fed his soul and allowed him to fully prepare to leave his body without fear.

It would seem to me that when caring for those who are preparing to die, acting from love will always provide what is needed, even if at times both ourselves and others may view our actions as less than rational.  This beautiful depiction of mother-love speaks to the profound power of such simple acts of love and demonstrates that these stay with those in our care over time and life, both during and after their embodiment.

Kathy Baker

Mother and Child by Pablo Picasso

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The warrior

Here I sit waiting for my warrior. I know he will be quick to my side even though his journey is long. It is not that I am weak as a woman, for I too am a warrior, but at times this earthly realm becomes bewildering and I need my warrior to clear the path and restore my sight.

We have been together, my warrior and I, since time began. We know the dance and at this time the remembering is upon us and light is providing clarity to our path. Each needs the other to complete our journey and our purpose. It is safe now for me to go within and walk the spirit paths that my service requires.

Kathy Baker 2013