Working with the Mother Wound – Part 1

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Bringing the perspective of Loving Consciousness to the Mother Wound allows us to take back our power and change out of the costume of The Victim.  We understand now that we chose our Mothers and the roles they would play with us. We understand that there is great learning for us in all of the experiences given to us throughout this role. There has also been learning opportunities for our Mothers, but it is not our responsibility to to make sure that this learning takes place.

Understanding that our responsibility lies only with our own journey and learning, we are free to choose our next role. The next role we choose to play depends entirely on us, it our journey after all. Sometimes a change in role on our part will be enough to prompt a complimentary role change for our Mothers and so allow the relationship to also change and grow. Sometimes though, the role of The Wounding Mother must be retained, not for our learning, but for our Mothers’ and perhaps for other family members, and this is okay. We have only to walk our journey and be responsible for ourselves.

Kathy Baker

Image credit:Passionpng

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Bringing Loving Consciousness to the Mother Wound

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The Mother Wound cuts deep and long, as it is meant too. It is just one of the childhood experiences written on our hearts, but written deep and long so that we remember to go back to it again and again, until every drop of love and learning has been wrung from it’s depths. 

Our mothers have toiled for years and life-times to bring these gifts of wounding to us. They have experienced pain and injury untold so that they could play so exquisitely the role of the Wounding Mother. To make sure that they cut us in places that would bring the most growth they sat with us before their conception and listened to our dreams and aspirations, then wrote these on their hearts, deep and long, so they could prepare to bring us the very best mother/child experiences.

Kathy Baker

Image credit: Polkadotcom

Loving Consciousness

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Bringing the perspective of Loving Consciousness to an event or a challenge allows us to understand ourselves and others with greater clarity and love.   Loving Consciousness reminds us to suspend all judgment of who is right or wrong, to resist the labeling of actions and emotions as positive or negative. To, for a moment, remove the identification of perpetrator and victim.  When this is achieved we simply observe people. humans, engaged in playing roles that may have begun from the time they entered this life. They may be trying on new roles and adjusting to the costume. Some may have been caught naked trying to scramble into a costume that, as yet, doesn’t fit. Regardless of the position on the journey they are all Beings doing their best to play a role that each has co-created with the rest of the acting troupe. Roles that were co-created with divine Love to bring about learning for each member.

With this understanding we can bring Gratitude, Forgiveness and Love to all involved, including ourselves.  We are also able to step out of the grip of Fear that floods our brain with energy so wild and intense that it prevents clarity and locks us into a pattern of defensiveness and self-protection. Whilst it is essential for us to fully experience such emotions, it is also important that, from time to time, we are reminded to take a step back and view our life through the lens of Loving Consciousness, to check that we are learning everything there is to learn and to pause and thank the lesson bringers.

Kathy Baker

Image credit: Ivory Coast


Touching the heart of our pain

In order to touch the heart of our pain we must first take time to sit with it and understand its purpose. We have to remember that we are not made victim by our pain, but that as powerful creators we have manifested this pain to bring forward learning that can complete  Karmic cycles.

“Do not be in a rush to ‘heal’ (which is the same as ‘hide’) your pain. It will just return in different disguises (dis-eases) until you truly accept ownership of it and understand why you have manifested it at this moment in your life/lives.” Gabriel.

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I am beginning to understand the process and power of this teaching in my own life. Part of this process has been allowing myself to truly feel the overwhelm of life in my current moment of living with my son and his wife (lots of tears and snot and more tears and tissues and a good dose of anger, resentment and pouting). In the midst of this emotional outpouring I asked the Big question “What am I trying to learn?”.  And this time I was ready for  the Real answer. The answer that allowed me to move from ‘victim of circumstance’ to insightful, powerful creator.

The answer was “to learn the boundaries of my responsibility and to receive love and support with Grace”.

And so I have begun to give myself permission to put down responsibilities (sense of overwhelm) that, as it turns out, I didn’t need to be carrying anyway. I am also opening myself to the beautiful humility of receiving. This is still an ongoing process but now my self-talk is focussed on the heart of the lesson and everyday I let more small things go. e.g. I am not responsible for my daughter-in-law’s new puppy; I am not responsible for keeping the peace between family members, and I am allowing my family to ‘do’ for me without feeling the pressure of guilt.

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All of these seemingly trivial steps, that are no doubt glaringly obvious to others, sit within a much larger and longer story of my pain. Pain that I have manifested for more than 20 years  in the guise of Major Clinical Depression/anxiety disorder. I am both a powerful creator and a slow learner.

There is a sense of power and lightness of burden as I accept that I have intelligently manifested this learning context of Depression. As I continue on this journey my questions and self-talk are changing from: “I can’t bare this pain”; “What strategy can I use to get me through the grocery shopping”, to: “Why am I baring this pain?”, “Why do I have this pain?”. My answer at this moment is “Because the pain, the sickness, the Depression, gives me permission to let go of my overly, unnecessarily large, burden of responsibility”.  And so with this insight I begin the small steps of laying down bundles of responsibility that were never mine to begin with.

Kathy Baker

Images: Kathy Baker

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It is never too late- Healing relationships with those who have passed

Recently I worked with two clients in their sixties, both women,  who were still experiencing trauma from childhoods of emotional and psychological abuse from their mothers. For one woman the damaged relationship with her mother could be traced back through generations of harmful parenting, but for the other her mother’s treatment of her linked back to undisclosed sexual abuse of the mother.  Regardless of the cause of the relationship trauma, in each reading the client’s mothers ,as well as grandparents from both sides of the family, came through.  In both cases insights were provided as to why their mothers treated them in this way, love was given and forgiveness asked by all family members. Each mother expressed her heartache at the long-term damage caused, damage that they only fully became aware of once they had passed and completed their life reviews.  Whether the client was able to express forgiveness at the time of the reading or not, each mother asked for permission to be able to mother them now from spirit and to be the mothers they had not been able to be in life.  One client felt able to forgive and a great healing took place for both the client and her mother and their troubled relationship began to heal. For the other client forgiveness did not come so easily, nevertheless healing was begun by the telling of the story and the acknowledgement of hurt.

I have seen this many times before and am awed every time by both the capacity for forgiveness by the human spirit as well as the love and need to ‘make right’ from those in spirit. Being able to forgive while still in this life is immensely important to our own health and wellbeing while on this earth. It is also important to our soul’s growth and evolvement and sets us up for the next life already having experienced the lesson of forgiveness.

Kathy Baker

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Communicating through the veil of Alzheimers disease

This week a number of the clients I worked with had a loved one with Alzheimers disease. This has led me to share what I have learned and experienced over the years when connecting with people who have this disease.

During readings I am connected with people who have passed and shown those that are still living and who are important to the theme/purpose of the reading. When people with Alzheimers are introduced into a reading I am able to communicate with them as though they too have passed. Their soul is very actively connected to the spirit realm. Because of this they are able to talk to their loved ones who come to the reading and share their love and gratitude for the visits and support currently provided to them by those around them. Even though their bodies and minds are not able to acknowledge these valued and important gifts of time and love, their souls gratefully receive.

A beautiful example of this was a father who, during the reading, acknowledged to his son that as a father and husband he had been emotionally distant, denying his family the love and nurture they had required. Because of this he was amazed and humbled by the love and attention that he was receiving from his family and the staff of the nursing home. This particularly since he was now incapable of responding in even the smallest way. He identified one son in particular who came for regular visits and for the first time in their relationship opened his heart to his father and shared his life and love during these visits.

For this man Alzheimers had allowed him to truly see his family for the first time and to willingly acknowledge and receive their unconditional love. So even though it seems that your loved one is lost to you because of this disease, they are in fact more aware of you than ever before and are always grateful for any kindness you are able to show them.

Kathy Baker
Photo by
M Baker

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Belief in the Light

It is time to question long-held beliefs and be surprised by how much they have misled us. Settle these beliefs lovingly in a treasured box for despite their illusions they were given in love and have served as a reference point until now. As you bring near new understandings and beliefs, look at them in the light and see how they fit with where you now are. Consider them as though they are a new outfit you are spending much of your hard-earned money on.

Kathy Baker

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